This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
