Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
