i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
