I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
im holly from the hills drunk
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
