Can Purell be used as lube?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
