wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
