i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
