i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
We are all done wearing pants today
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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