That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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