I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
