my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
