Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
