I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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