When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
