That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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