i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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