I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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