I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize