My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
