The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just gargled with NyQuil
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
