we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
