Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
