when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
