People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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