While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
