he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
