Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
