I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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