you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
