in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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