we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
