Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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