Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Its about making memories worth repressing
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
