ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
dude i'm inner monologue high
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
