Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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