I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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