I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Randomize
