so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
