i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
