she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
