The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
