Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I didn't notice because vodka
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
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