So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
