i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
