How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
someone owes me an orgasm
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
