No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
