Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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