So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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