# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
