I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
