How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
