I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize