He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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