please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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