I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
